Whispered Hellos
by Starkie
Summary: AU Season 3. How long before someone breaks? How hard will she fight to save her love? SS, SV, VL, JI
1. Acts of Desperation

I: Acts of Desperation She stared at the broken tumbler before her. It had cracked long before as she had slammed it onto the motel table. But rather than stopping, she had continued to drink, only now, straight from the bottle.  
  
She identified with the shot glass. After all it had been through, numerous beatings, it had only taken one particularly hard slam to be cracked. It had broken. Just like her.  
  
"Playground school bell rings again Rain clouds come to play again. Has no one told you she's not breathing? Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to. Hello."  
  
It had been a beautiful afternoon in Sevilla. She and Julian had been enjoying a midday lunch with Katiana, just taking in the beauty of the town and the peace of their little family. It had been a wonderful week, just the three of them, their first relaxing, family vacation since Katiana's birth. No gun fights. No nuclear bombs about to explode. The world of international espionage simply left behind.  
  
They had just finished their meal when she had received a page. It would figure that her cell phone didn't have service in the area, so she had smiled at Julian and excused herself to go return the call. He promised to change Katiana's diaper and to take care of the check. She had kissed him gently before walking out into the street to find a pay phone.  
  
She had dialed the number in her pager and waited for an answer. After several rings she hung up and turned to walk back to the restaurant. And suddenly, it wasn't there.  
  
"No survivors," she thought bitterly. No chance of the love of her life and their eight month old daughter having survived the bomb that exploded after she had left the building. No chance of ever feeling alive again. No chance at ever being happy again.  
  
She was sure who did it. It was the C.I.A. It wasn't enough to hunt her and Julian down. No...they wanted to capture them and torture them. It wasn't enough to shoot her in her own home last year, killing her and Julian's first attempt at a child. It wasn't enough to nearly make her infertile because of that one damn bullet she hadn't been able to dodge. It wasn't enough to kidnap Julian and torture him at Camp David until she could break him out. Why couldn't they just leave her alone?  
  
She stared at her picture, the only one she could find of her little family. It had been taken at Katiana's first Christmas, Julian's eyes sparkling a more intense blue than she had ever seen. (Well, maybe not ever, she remembered fondly, and with a slight blush.) She herself was radiant, displaying their little bundle of joy wrapped in Christmas colors.  
  
She needed more vodka. Vodka always reminded her of him and his Russian heritage. So she picked up her motel key, picture clutched tightly to her breast. She stumbled to the first car she saw, broke in, and unceremoniously fell inside. She hotwired the engine and began to drive. Had she not been so intoxicated with alcohol and grief, she may have noticed the car that started right behind her and followed several cars back.  
  
The bridge hadn't been part of the plan. She had been driving towards it when inspiration had struck. Her empty vodka bottle forgotten, she had stopped the car and gotten out. She looked down, the stream-like river glistening in the darkness. It beckoned her, called her. A way to end her pain and rejoin her shattered family. A chance to become whole.  
  
She didn't notice the person screaming her name. She didn't notice the person pleading with her to stop. All she noticed was the rush of wind, the shock of her impact, and the feel of her family photograph still snuggled by her chest.  
  
"If I smile and don't believe. Soon I know I'll wake from this dream. Don't try to fix me I'm not broken Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide. Don't cry." 


	2. Fallen Heroes

*** Sorry, sorry, sorry. I forgot that whole disclaimer thing. I obviously don't own Alias, else Syd and Sark would be making lots of babies. I do own Katiana, at least for now. The song in the first chapter was "Hello" by Evanescence. Buy Fallen! It rocks!  
  
"Sydney! Sydney Please!" Irina couldn't believe her eyes. Her only daughter, the child she had tormented and been tormented by, had just jumped off of a bridge. Without hesitation, Irina followed in after her. The cold water was a shock even to someone like her, and the fall knocked all breath out of her. She kicked for the surface, gratefully gasping in oxygen, but immediately diving back down, arms flying everywhere, fingers desperately outstretched for her daughter's body. She was just about to surface for another breath when she felt an arm in the water. Grasping it tightly, she dragged Sydney to the surface, swiftly kicking for the bank.  
  
She laid her daughter on the ground, checking for her breathing and her pulse. Faint, but nonetheless, they were still there. She ran up the embankment at lightning speed, reaching into her car for her cell phone. As she called Jack's number, blue and red lights suddenly appeared in the distance. Irina shrank into her car and watched in dull stupidity as the cops swarmed her daughter's car and began to spread down the embankment. She counted at least eight cops in five cars, far too many for her to take out by herself.  
  
She waited unnoticed in her car, praying to a God she hadn't spoken to in years. She begged and pleaded with him to let them miss her daughter. And as usual, He ignored her.  
  
"Down here!" one of the cops yelled. "Looks like she jumped!" "Steal a car and jump off a bridge, seems like a reasonable enough night. Let's get her to the hospital."  
  
And just like that, they were gone with her baby and her plan to save her. Irina waited in her car until the tow truck had come for the stolen one, obviously and unluckily implanted with a tracker chip. In this small town, a stolen Cadillac was probably the highlight of the year for the police squad, which explained the large number that reported for such a relatively small incident. If only she had gotten the chance to tell Sydney what her C.I.A. mole had told her. Now, she wasn't sure what to do. And for the first time in her recent memory, Irina Derevko was scared.  
******* The doctor surveyed his patient for more wounds. He couldn't believe how remarkably she had survived her fall. He was also surprised that she had managed to swim to the riverbank, considering that her blood alcohol level was .25, more than three times the legal limit.  
  
He shook his head. The police had asked him what had happened, and he honestly couldn't tell them. Jane Doe had three cracked ribs and a concussion, but other than that she was fine. Medically, he couldn't tell if she had jumped on purpose or had fallen due to her intoxication. He just couldn't figure this girl out, and he knew the police were not going to be happy when he told them that he had nothing.  
  
But something told him this was not right. He wasn't sure how he knew that the jump was intentional, but he knew. He simply sighed as he added morphine to her I.V. Maybe when she woke, she could offer some much desired answers. He was curious, and he knew he wasn't the only one.  
  
The nurse in the hospital wasn't quite sure what to do. They had Jane Doe's come in all the time, but a Jane Doe found jumping off a bridge highly intoxicated after breaking into a high tech Cadillac? Not likely. This girl was a puzzle. Not many people could hotwire a Cadillac, that much even she knew. And not many young, attractive women jumped off of bridges after stealing one. She had noticed the water- marked picture in the girl's shirt while collecting her personal effects. She recognized the girl instantly, though she lacked the radiance and joy of the picture. She had quite the handsome man, a blonde with radiant blue eyes, whom she assumed to be her husband by the dazzling wedding rings in the picture. There was also a cute baby with green eyes, though she couldn't see much else.  
  
Inspired, she decided to upload the picture onto the missing persons network. Maybe someone would recognize the picture and bring this girl back to her cute family. They just looked so happy, she couldn't bear the thought of what had made this girl want to die. 


End file.
